don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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