FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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