Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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