He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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