This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I will die if light touches me.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
