WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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