Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
