dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
