Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
