So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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