You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
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