question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
