lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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