I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The Olympian is in my bed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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