Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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