Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
