Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
