I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What a dumb baby whore.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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