i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
