I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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