thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
