Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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