At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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