One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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