got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
