I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
