TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
