what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
