Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
