well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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