just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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