I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This baby is an asshole
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
