He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
