I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
