Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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