So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
