hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
