so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
