Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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