hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
