Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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