stop calling my apartment porn island.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
