Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
