get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
