I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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