Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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