there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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