I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
