is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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