she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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