you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
